Shoulder to Shoulder: the London men’s group that turned one awkward walk into 25 events a month

Shoulder to Shoulder, a London community for men who want to make friends, now has around 2,000 members and runs about 25 events a month. Its best-known fixture is a Sunday walk that often starts in Hyde Park.

The group’s founders, Tom and Dan, met online 18 months ago and went on what they later called a slightly awkward “man date”. They suspected plenty of other men felt the same unease about making friends, so they arranged a walk followed by a coffee. The community grew from that first meet-up.

An “anti-manosphere” group for men in London

Shoulder to Shoulder has been labelled an “anti-manosphere” community, and its founders have embraced the term. They see the group as a positive alternative to the poor reputation many online men’s groups carry. Part of the aim, they say, is to tackle the stigma attached to men seeking friendship with other men.

Most of what the group does is informal. Joining is the exception. Anyone who wants in has to put his name to a written pledge built around five values. Respect and authenticity head the list, with growth and connection next and ambition last. The founders stress that ambition, in their sense, has nothing to do with money or career status. To them it means working towards a happy and fulfilling life.

Sunday walks from the Achilles statue

The flagship event is a walk held every second Sunday. Members usually gather in Hyde Park, by the Achilles statue, and the walk sets off from there.

The monthly programme also has a curry club and a book club. Some members head out of the city for hikes as well.

The group runs under the slogan “we create belonging together” and draws men from many different backgrounds across London. The founders say newcomers to the capital often turn up anxious and isolated. After six to nine months of regular events, many of them become visibly more confident, they say. Tom and Dan believe the benefit carries beyond the group, with members becoming better partners and friends. They say it shows at work too.

Dates for the Sunday walks and the full events calendar are posted on Instagram at @shouldertoshouldercommunity.